Mistress Mandara’s Emporium of Eldritch Arms, Enchanted Armour and Arcane Curios. You probably know it by its more common name: The Magnificent Emporium.
The Magnificent Emporium is a SOLO Crafting, Enchanting and Adventuring tabletop game. Hire Adventurers to seek Exotic Crafting Components, Accept Commissions from Colorful Customers, and Create Legendary Arms and Armour.
Latest Updates from Our Project:
Shipping Successes and FAILS! Proper care and feeding of Mistress Mandara.
7 months ago
– Thu, May 09, 2024 at 04:37:34 PM
Update Summary:
ALL Shipping Completed TODAY! Check out some of the #FAILs!!!
thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU!!!
That Pretty Card in your Tin Serves a Purpose!
Links to the PDF Rules
Send your Rules Questions to Me. I promise I won't roll my eyes. :)
ALL Shipping Completed TODAY! Check out some of the #FAILs!!!
Most U.S. Domestic Shipping went out over the last 2 weeks. Most International Shipping went out end of last week and earlier this week. The last stragglers (most going to weirdo Backers with complicated orders - like lots of copies of the game OR bunches of Add-ons!) are being dropped off at the postal vortex today.
Good News: Looks like the vast majority are arriving in excellent condition! I could NOT say this on the LAST project (that shall not be named!).
Damaged Goods
Bad News: We have ONE report of a Mayhem-ified package. Actually, I should probably move this to the GOOD NEWS CATEGORY! It's ONLY one (so far)! While it is only ONE it was ABSOLUTELY SAVAGED!!!
Contrary to Public Opinion, this is NOT how I intended it to arrive!
The Postal Persecution of Colossal Endeavors' Games CONTINUES!!!
Next time I send something out, I'll try NOT using MY name and see if I get any respect from the Colossal Endeavors-hating Postal Persecutors!
The Replacement for this sad game component went out today. IF YOUR GAME GETS MAYHEM-ified, message me directly OR text me at +1 (714) 721-2464 and I will replace any damaged components right away.
Greedy Post Office Wanting MORE Money!!!
I have also received TWO reports of the Post Office (U.S. Postal Service) stating that the postage on their packages was underpaid.
IF YOU ARE ASKED TO PAY ADDITIONAL U.S. Domestic POSTAGE, feel free to pay it and THEN reach out to me so that I can reimburse you the difference. You can message me here directly OR text me at +1 (714) 721-2464. Let me know your preferred method of reimbursement. PayPal is easiest for me, but I can probably swing one of those newer, fancier payment systems, if you prefer.
Also, if your package happens to get returned to me for insufficient postage, don't worry. I will send it again with the new, magic dollar number that the postal worker DIVINED FROM THIN AIR.
thank you, Thank You, THANK YOU!!!
THANK YOU for making this game possible!!! AND SUPER DUPER Thank You for being BEYOND PATIENT with me as I attempted to DIGEST all that I had already bitten off that was more than I could chew.
ALL of your words of encouragement and advice and feedback has been BEYOND VALUABLE in making this happen! I promise that I will ATTEMPT to be slightly less CHAOTIC and dunderhead-ish with each successive project. I MAY just get this stuff figured out before I expire and force Colossal Ken to find a new head to inhabit uninvited. ;-)
(Can't wait. Surely the accommodations can't get any WORSE than these!)
That Pretty Card in your Tin Serves a Purpose!
You MAY have noticed the pretty little card with Colossal Endeavors on one side and The Magnificent Emporium on the other side. WELL, this card ACTUALLY serves a purpose.
Also, its similarity to a run-of-the-mill business card is purely in your head!
See how nice and NEAT?!? The little not-business-card card can be folded along the Fold Here lines to create separator trays. This helps keep your dice from mixing with your tokens or from mixing with your cards - you know, tearing holes in the fabric of space-time.
Is this perfect? NO. NOTHING I do is even REMOTELY perfect, but it should keep things nice and neat while sitting on a shelf or - maybe - even during a mild earthquake (which we have here in California about twice per day). DO NOT shake vigorously and expect it to stay organized.
You have been warned.
Links to the PDF Rules
The link to the FULL Emporium Rules PDF is listed at the end of the QuickStart Rules. For those of you with ZERO attention span that never made that far in the VERY BRIEF QuickStart Rules, you can find the links here:
Send your Rules Questions to Me. I promise I won't roll my eyes. :)
Gotta a question about The Magnificent Emporium (I mean, OTHER THAN, "Why does it suck?")?
Feel free to post your How to Play questions on the MAIN Comment Section of the Kickstarter Campaign Page (NOT the Comments Section of THIS Update). You can also message me directly or text me at +1 (714) 721-2464.
I plan to Update the Rulebook with any corrections or clarifications gleaned from the things that make you confused or sad or mad.
(Can we leave the ones in that make them mad?)
No, Colossal. We can't.
(You're no fun. No wonder your games are no good.)
Sounds like a good place to end this Update...
Yours in Colossal Mayhem,
Ken
You're Welcome: A Tier 1 and Tier 2 BACKERS ONLY Update.
7 months ago
– Thu, May 09, 2024 at 02:37:21 PM
This post is for backers only. Please visit Kickstarter.com and log in to read.
Shipping Starts NEXT WEEK!!!
7 months ago
– Thu, Apr 18, 2024 at 02:03:46 PM
Summary:
NEWS that may or may not have anything to do with SHIPPING (okay, it actually DOES have to do with shipping).
Preview of Colossal Ken's NEXT DISASTROUS ENDEAVOR!
NEWS that may or may not have anything to do with SHIPPING (okay, it actually DOES have to do with shipping).
I have some GREAT NEWS!
(Shipping starts next week?)
How did you know?!?
(It's in the subject line, dummy.)
Oh. Yeah.
Well... it does.
The games are FULLY assembled. All Add-on components SHOULD arrive tomorrow (except for t-shirts - they will be another week or so).
I will start sending out U.S. Domestic orders first in small batches to catch any bonehead mistakes prior to dumping the whole load of games into the postal destruct-inator box.
THIS TIME, the games will be in STEEL TINS, WRAPPED IN A CANVAS DRAWSTRING BAG, AND SHIPPED IN A PADDED ENVELOPE. I still have nightmares about some of those HORRIBLY MANGLED Party of 4 packages.
Do you remember the one that looked like it was MAULED by a werewolf?!? OR the one that appeared as if it spent the last 10 years at the bottom of the OCEAN?!?
I DO! Eek!
Preview of Colossal Ken's NEXT DISASTROUS ENDEAVOR!
JUST THINK: SOON you will have a WONDERFULLY mediocre game to play (and / or put on your shelf and never look at again). AND - bonus! - you won't have to read any more of my half-arsed design, playtesting, production, assembly and shipping excuses!
(I have NEVER been more happy in my entire life.)
Not YOU, Colossal. Silly. We gotta get crackin' on the NEXT game.
(I think I picked the wrong braincase to inhabit whilst uninvited.)
You might be right about that! Ha ha!
If you want a sneak peak at the NEXT game, you can check out the Bait and Switch Kickstarter Project DRAFT here (tap or click on the image):
Pay NO attention to the fact that this game was announced on April 1st.
;-)
Yours in Colossal Mayhem,
Ken
P.S. IF YOU DO Back our next Collaborative Disaster, you will, OF COURSE, be inundated with a constant stream of excuses regarding design, playtesting... yada, yada, yada...
BackerKit Surveys CLOSING SOON!!!
8 months ago
– Tue, Mar 26, 2024 at 09:56:33 AM
This post is for backers only. Please visit Kickstarter.com and log in to read.
FIRST DRAFT of The Magnificent Emporium PDF Rules... and other assorted nonsense.
9 months ago
– Thu, Feb 22, 2024 at 05:44:24 PM
Greetings, Magnificent Mandar-ites!
We have a couple Updates for you. The BIGGEST of which is the First Draft of The Magnificent Emporium PDF Rulebook.
Production Update
First Draft of the PDF Rules (feedback wanted!)
BackerKit is almost ready... to take EVEN MORE of your money!
Production Update
We have ALL the components in-house except for the cards. I just checked the production queue and we are IN PRODUCTION NOW! The estimated shipping date is still first week of April, but that makes no sense. There is no way this project will take 6 weeks to print, collate and pack (right?). We'll see...
First Draft of the PDF Rules (feedback wanted!)
The game will include a printed set of Quickstart instructions AND many of the cards have detailed How to Play info on their Backs. However, the PDF is where ALL the rule stuff can be found.
(Hopefully, this will keep down on the number of dunderhead messages, emails and text messages.)
Hey, be nice, Colossal! We LOVE ALL of our Backers, even the dunderheads! Plus, any questions we receive are probably because YOU could have done a better job designing and / or spelling out the rules!
(Harrumph!)
Ha! Did you just SAY the word "harrumph"?
(What? Isn't that how it works?)
Sometimes I just feel sad for you. VERY, VERY occasionally, but sometimes.
I would very much like some feedback. I am 100% positive that I missed some stuff or botched some explanations. Feel free to point out my boneheadedness by Messaging, Emailing ([email protected]) or Texting (+1 (714) 721-2464) me. I will continue to update the book following feedback from Backers after they have received the game and they have figured out ALL THE WAYS they want to see the game changed. Geesh.
(We look forward to telling you just how wrong you are.)
BackerKit is almost ready... to take EVEN MORE of your money!
I have the BackerKit page about 70% done. I think I’ll launch that sooner rather than later (in the hopes that production is faster than the manufacturer is estimating).
My #1 favorite upsell to take even more of your hard-earned money is...
'Colossal Ken's Magnetic Personality' PLAY ANYWHERE Magnets
Don't get too excited! You'll have to wait until BackerKit to open to see it in it's full GLORY!
(It's got my name on it. How bad could it be?)
Do you really wanna know?
(Never mind.)
There's my two cents...
Yours in Colossal Mayhem,
Ken
NOTE: a cent is a form of American money that LONG AGO could buy you a newspaper or a soda.
Soda is an American fizzy drink that tickles your nose and gives you gas.
Gas is what Americans run their cars on which is why they are destroying the planet AND why the city of Lost Angeles smells like farts.
Feel free to expand on the joke chain in the comments (just don't make them funnier than mine)...
